I know, it’s crass and, yes, my mother brought me up to have better manners than this, but I’m going to do it anyway.
I’m going to tell you what I would like you to give me for Christmas. It’s a simple gift and it won’t cost you a dime. So, here’s my gift request: Would you please stop talking, texting and checking your email on your cell phone while you’re driving?
Despite the fact that California has banned talking on a cell while driving (except when using a hands-free device) and texting while driving, yakkers and text tappers are more prevalent than ever. I’m sure you’ve seen them, the driver who instead of looking straight ahead through the windshield is gazing down at their lap looking at their iPhone while waiting for the light to change. The driver who is holding their phone to their ear with their right hand while they palm the steering wheel with their left to make that turn and perhaps, worst of all, the person who is tapping out a text message on their Blackberry while behind the wheel and moving down the road.
So do you think it’s a little forward of me to be asking for this gift? Those of you who engage in these practices are some of my closest and dearest friends. So, let me give you a friendly reminder that all it takes to be law abiding in this regard is not to text and, if you insist on talking while driving, to buy a bluetooth headset or a wired earpiece. Yet, I’m always astounded by the number of people who drive late model BMW’s, Mercedes or Range Rovers who apparently can’t afford an earpiece or a Jupiter Jack. (And if you don’t know what a Jupiter Jack is, it’s time we brought an “As Seen On TV Store” to Coast Village Road.)
If I’ve succeeded in getting a chuckle out of you I’m glad that I’ve held your attention for this long. But I’d like to remind you that this is no laughing matter. Just ask Bob Okerblom, the Santa Maria physician, whose son was killed two years ago by a distracted driver. Or ask the parents of 15-year old Jessica Brinker of Missouri, who was killed in August of last year when the school bus on which she was riding with fellow members of her high school’s marching band was involved in a pileup that, accident investigators say, began with a pickup truck’s driver who had been texting behind the wheel. Or ask the young man who was on the other end of that text exchange, who says he didn’t know his friend was driving and who, according to an Associated Press story, is still haunted by the disastrous result of his text messaging.
It is that Missouri accident that the National Transportation Safety Board has cited in its recent controversial recommendation to totally ban drivers from using cell phones, even ones that are hands-free.
It surprises me that the proposed total ban has caused such an outcry. It should be a no-brainer, just like the people who text while driving. Yet, a lot of people seem to think that it goes too far. I don’t think it goes far enough. After all, the widely publicized $100 fine for driveling and driving evidently isn’t enough to convince many drivers to obey the law. They’re content to talk and take their chances. I say we impound the offender’s cars, just as the police do for unlicensed drivers. Then and only then will we start to see some compliance.
Now before you start calling me some kind of “pinko” who flies a Commie flag in his front yard, permit me to remind you that no one has an inalienable right to drive a car, let alone talk on the phone or text while doing so. The enumeration of “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness,” in The Declaration of Independence wasn’t the product of some random order. To preserve life it’s sometimes necessary to relinquish a little liberty.
So, I’ve made my pitch but I don’t know if I’ve succeeded in persuading you. Perhaps if you need a further push I can tell you that this no-using-the-cell-phone-while-I’m-driving-the-car is going to be my gift to you. If you’re not ready to reciprocate could you at least consider making it your New Year’s resolution?
Craig Smith is a blogger and observer of the cultural scene.
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